Smilers at the Animal Control Center!* Thanks to Eddy at 11808.blogspot.com for emailing me about this first.
Tagruato’s troupe of Slusho! Smilers! struck again last Friday, this time at a remote animal control center in Takayama. Bearing armfuls of Slusho! happy drinks for all the lower wage workers, the girls also organized a Slusho! drinking contest for two dozen of the center’s caged puppies and kittens.
“Kittens love Slusho! It reminds them of mother’s milk!” grinned Smiler! Mayu.
The workers whooped and cheered as the animals swam and drank their way through a 40-liter trough of Blueberry Zoom. After twenty minutes, Pickle, a spotted Labrador pup, was still happily lapping Slusho! “This one will come home to Ganu!” said acrobatic Smiler! Yuuka as she clutched the lucky puppy, “He just couldn’t get enough Zoom!” With the center in Takayama, the girls completed their nationwide tour of Japan’s animal shelters. While all the shelters received a generous donation from the Tagruato Cares! foundation, the centers with the most Slusho!-friendly animals were purchased and welcomed into the Tagruato family. These centers will undergo a full renovation in the next three years, making way for modern facilities with up-to-date research, technology, and rehabilitation equipment.
“Tagruato is working so hard to ensure a prosperous future for humans,” said company spokeswoman Suzume Soga. “We want that future for small animals as well.”
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Slusho! Smilers Strike Again
There is a new article in the Tagruato Headlines page:
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Dennis,
ReplyDeleteBe sure to check out the two new articles in the investors section as well.
Tagruato is launching a satelite and they are hiring the worlds best physicists. Two of which are Johan Hedberg (who is also the name of the Atlanta Thrashers goalie!) and Mike Siegel.
What company is hiring Rob Hawkins to go work with them in Japan, btw?
ReplyDeletewhat the... feeding animals Slusho? how bizarre
ReplyDeleteThat's really spooky. They disguise their animal testing as "a Slusho drinking contest," and then buy up the animal shelters with the most likely potential candidates... Gross.
ReplyDeleteHm. Here's a thought: maybe the guys in the hazmat suits in the trailer aren't US military, but are actually Tagurato doctors/scientists/goons?
ReplyDeleteYa know, i was thinking the same thing about the suits. Also, the thought about the animal testing being disguised as "a feeding contest" makes perfect sense too.
ReplyDeleteI wonder about the fate of the puppy that is "coming home to Ganu." It's a disturbing way to say, "Come on, puppy! We've got experiments on you to do!"
ReplyDeleteUh-oh... this has mutated animal written all over it!
ReplyDeleteHm. Here's a thought: maybe the guys in the hazmat suits in the trailer aren't US military, but are actually giant, orphan puppies and kittens just looking for a mommy or a daddy...
ReplyDeleteIn New York...
In the midst of a series of monstrous attacks...
Here's a better thought - the Cloverfield monster isn't a whale or Cthulhu at all, just a giant kitten who just wants to be loved.
ReplyDeleteCutest monster invasion ever.
to steve-o: let's go thrashers lets go! (thrashers FTW)
ReplyDeleteback on topic: i wonder what makes the animals "the most slusho! happy"? maybe those are the only ones that didn't have strange side effects...
to andrew: lol yeah, that's just a really deep meow...it used the SoL as a scratch post..d'awww
ReplyDeleteI did happen to notice that on Huds myspace page photos, there is a comment from a natalia...in her prfile she has a feed from an animal cruelty site....
ReplyDelete