Tuesday, December 4, 2007

TidoWave Cruel-etin Board

Here are the "Cruel-etin" board posts from the TidoWave website. They paint Tagruato in a bad light, but they sound a little off the deep end themselves...

Noise Pollution Effects Humpbacks
Underwater, sound can carry for many miles. Whales and other ocean creatures depend on sound for communication, warnings of danger, and to orient themselves as they traverse the seas. During Tagruato’s construction of the Chuai drilling station in the Mid-Atlantic Ridge, ubiquitous sound pollution pierced the waters for over a year. Hundreds of humpback whales returning from the tropical climates they had migrated to for the winter were scared and confused by the strange noises. The whales were forced to divert themselves and their calves from established migration routes they had been using for generations. Many starved to death before they could reach the feeding waters.

Tagruato denies any responsibility for attributing to the already dwindling population.

Unique Fauna On The Brink
The Sunda Anemone has called the northeastern Indian Ocean home since long before mankind as we know it came into existence. Their delicate anatomy was meticulously crafted over millions of generations, specifically suited for survival in the unique deep ocean environment in which they prospered. Rare and beautiful, the cnidarians enjoyed a peaceful existence. That is, until Tagruato came to town.

By constructing the Itoku Drilling Station in the Java Trench, Tagruato has pushed the Sunda Anemone to the brink of extinction*! Extinction, people! We’re talking about the eradication of an innocent ocean dweller, and for what? A few more barrels of Earth Blood?! Will you be able to look your child in the eye when they ask you what happened to the Sunda Anemone and explain to them that you needed to power your John Deere?! You shouldn’t even be cutting your lawn! Let the grass grow as long as Mother Earth intended!

We contacted Tagruato spokeswoman Suzume Soga, reasonably demanding a complete deconstruction of the station, as well as bearing financial responsibility for the rehabilitation of the species. Soga responded with, “No comment.” Our associate claims she had a general tone of indifference. Indifference to extinction?! Deplorable. Add this to the growing list of reasons why, in the end, Tagruato will pay for its evil ways.

* as projected by our species experts

Tagruato History Fun Fact #42
1961 - 力の手 attempts to buy out a small, family owned and operated mining outfit in Honshu. The head of the outfit staunchly refuses, and soon winds up dead. Foul play was suspected, but never proven. The dead man inexplicably changed his mind about the sale the night before his death, leaving behind instructions to sell the company to 力の手.

Tagruato History Fun Fact #18
1981 - 力の手 is accused of operating a factory in India employing dozens of child laborers - some no older than 10 years old, working 70 hours a week for wages far below legal standards. The factory is quickly shut down, and company officials claim ignorance, blaming ‘outsourced management’. Suspicion was rampant of similar child labor transgressions in other 力の手 facilities around the world. Amid the India debacle, dozens of other plants shut their doors, reopening weeks later with newly hired staffs of legal workers.

To this day, we believe Tagruato does not hesitate to boost their bottom line by employing underage, underpaid workers.

Tagruato History Fun Fact #33
1986 - 力の手 is caught illegally dumping thousands of gallons of industrial waste into the Tokyo Bay - less than a mile away from Kujūkuri Beach, one of Japan’s most popular swimming and surf destinations.

26 comments:

  1. "Make no mistake -- Mother Earth is at war. Her adversary is Mankind. It is a vicious foe, ruthless, pitiless, and presided over by fools. That is why She needs us. We will fight at Her side till the day She takes us Elsewhere."

    These guys are nuts. I'm starting to wonder whether TIDOWave found a way to let the beast we see on 1-18-08 loose. They seem crazy enough to do it. It's at least apparent that Earth > Mankind by a long shot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'd love to see Tagruato's Dirty Laundry hung out for everyone to see. Can't wait for more "Fun Facts"!

    The whale one seems very interesting...

    ReplyDelete
  3. M'kay, so 力の手 translates (according to Babelfish) from Japanese to English as "the hand of power." I assumed this, at first, to be a reference to Tagruato's corporate logo - but, after a little digging I found that it's also the title of a novel by Edgar Wallace (who, interestingly enough, co-created King Kong and authored the screenplay for the movie). There was a German movie made in 1968 which was based on Wallace's book ... though I haven't had the good fortune of finding what, exactly, the book/movie are actually about. =P

    Very likely nothing, but I thought it was at least interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ah, here we go. According to http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/126048/Hand-of-Power/overview :

    "Fuchsberger plays an inspector in search of an elusive criminal who uses a scorpion-shaped ring, filled with poison, to dispatch his victims. As is customary in films of this nature, the villain is a lot more colorful than his dedicated but drab Scotland Yard pursuers. But Edgar Wallace was averse to promoting a 'crime pays' message, so rest assured that the Hand of Power is stilled by the time the film's alotted 88 minutes has passed."

    Nothing terribly arresting, there - which just goes to show that you can find connections anywhere if you look hard enough.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is entirely unrelated and unimportant, but I thought I'd share it with everyone.

    I was on the bus this afternoon, and as it passed a big pole, I noticed a white sign with blue letters (that certainly wasn't there last time I checked) that said, nice and big, "Zoom!" with some more writing beneath it. The buss passed too fast to read the rest, but it got me curious. There isn't a car dealership, or even an auto body garage in that area.. So for a second I entertained the possibility of a Slusho! handout, much like the Apollo giveaways. If only.

    ReplyDelete
  6. youcantdrinkjustsix.com
    takes you to an acoustic
    sea monitoring site. if someone
    has said this already, sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  7. some of the myspaces have new comments and music on their pages

    rob has MUSE!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Interesting Meliz, I wonder if Paramount/JJ have hired 7-11 Slurpies to sell Slusho for the duration of the movie? :o) That would be fun, a week or so before the movie, people start injesting Slusho and orderng them at the theater before the movie. Then the movie plays and they find out what they've been drinking. :-D Glub, glub.

    But we know not to drink it, haha.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Tom, if you look, it is just linking through to NOAA, which is a real government agency. Weak sauce.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You guys know the movie has been seen? I just read the comments on Ain´t it cool News.. can´t wait to see =)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Rob said they r going to go see the golden compass, maybe some cluse in trailors, dunno. but al of their myspaces have been visited and commens updates except for Jamie. hmm maybe nothin from her till the 9th

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think it's a good idea, and it benefits the movie as much as it benefits us. I know I'd try a Slusho if it was free. And what fan wouldn't want to have a collectible cup?!

    And it would be awesome if that had something to do with Jamie's gift on the 9th. But I don't think that'll happen. )=

    ReplyDelete
  14. these r the posts i got

    Rob Hawkins
    Dec 4 2007 2:53 PM

    Hey so now mom wants us home for by the 22nd cuz we're having an early christmas at aunt anne marie's on the 23rd

    Dec 4 2007 2:55 PM

    Hey what are you doing this Friday? Hud and I were gonna go see Golden Compass and we'd feel a lot less lame if you came.

    Dec 4 2007 3:36 PM

    What could possibly be preferred over nerdy epics with myself and hud?

    Dec 4 2007 2:59 PM

    Next year, we're having Slapsgiving.

    Beth
    Dec 4 2007 3:04 PM

    Ohhhh, I'm sorry babe. I'd love to go but I've already got plans Friday night. What are you up to the rest of the weekend?


    Dec 4 2007 3:37 PM

    I'm going out with a friend. Sorry! I'd love to hang out with you guys later in the weekend!

    Dec 4 2007 3:22 PM

    Project Runway at my place tonight!

    Let's hope that skinny guy in the conductor hat who cries every episode gets das boot from Heidi!

    Lil
    Dec 4 2007 3:25 PM

    I want to hear about last night! What does the future hold?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Heck Meliz, I'd rather buy one at the convenient store or the theater than go through the agony that people went thru to get a free Apollo bar! :-D

    ReplyDelete
  16. True. I'd probably end up paying if they did do that. Hmm, I wonder what it would taste like, if they were to make one.. They'd need a substitute for the sea bed nectar. The more I think about it, the more I really want 7-11 to make slushos. But anyway, I'm getting a better look at that sign tomorrow.

    It was strange, it was about a shade or two darker than the Slusho logo, but it wasn't the same font. If it were red or any other color I probably wouldn't have thought anything of it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. About NOT drinking slusho, there is no proof that slusho or the sea bed necter has caused all of this.... pure speculation that it does. But i might agree its pretty likely. I'll still drink slusho, i want to go ZOOOM and feel young again!

    ReplyDelete
  18. GIMME THE TASTI SEA BEVERAGE IN MY MOUTH!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Has there not been any link between the posts on the cruel-etin board? Why only post those numbered fun facts? Is it significant that there are 2 blues and yellows but only 1 green? Or is it the numbers on the fun facts? I feel like with each answered question brings 3 more questions. Anything new added I feel like is a clue to something now, so it's hard to distinguish what stuff is supposed to mean something and what stuff is not. I guess that's part of the game though.

    ReplyDelete
  20. for the record i think slusho! does absolutely nothing in the film...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Until someone is able to link these
    websites and clues together to a single
    commonality, we won't know what the
    hell is going on. If no one figures it out before the movie release, oh well, too bad for us.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Has anyone sent a letter to the snail mail address for Tagruato to see what you get back?

    ReplyDelete
  23. youcantdrinkjustsix.com
    takes you to an acoustic
    sea monitoring site. if someone
    has said this already, sorry.


    I've emailed all the members of staff there asking for more information on the "1997" event. Just waiting on some kind of reply.

    ReplyDelete
  24. yeah, i posted this earlier and
    somebody implied that I wasted my
    time posting it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4158/is_20020617/ai_n12627174

    This article I found on bloop

    ReplyDelete