Saturday, January 5, 2008

MySpace Update - Slusho Hires Rob

Rob updated his MySpace page. He has been offered a job at Slusho!:
You can’t drink just six...
Current mood: adventurous
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

So I got a job offer, and it's everything I wanted. More money, more power, more creative freedom. I'd even have up to five people working under me, and you know how much I've always wanted underlings. One catch -- I need to move to freakin' JAPAN! The job is the V.P. of Marketing and Promotions for SLUSHO! brand "happy drink." Apparently it's all the rage in Asia. I'd be part of a team tasked with replicating the drink's popularity in the Western world. Here's a link to their most recent TV spot: Bizarre, I know. I'm sure
Hud would love it. They want us to come up with a more accessible angle to hook an American audience.

When I said I'd be willing to leave NYC for the new gig, I was thinking maybe Chicago or Toronto, maybe L.A. Japan is a whole other extreme. I'm not a particularly worldly fellow, and I'd definitely be in store for some major culture shock. But you know what? Maybe this is exactly the jolt my lame little life needs. A fresh start, and all the clichés that go with it. I'm cautiously psyched. I told them I needed the weekend to think it over, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna take it. I mean, I can't think of a good enough reason not to.
I can. I think we all new this was coming, and it explains why Hawk us wearing a Slusho t-shirt on the night of the party. Here are the comments from his friends:
Hawk - My Japanese friend Kuroki paid me off in Slusho once to settle a bet. That shit is delicious. I’ve been craving more ever since I tried it. Your job will be a piece of cake, Slusho sells itself. Please tell me you get a free lifetime supply or something.

Rob Hawkins - They gave me some t-shirts at the interview, you want one?

HUD - Dude I just googled Slusho, did you know they are a subsidiary of some evil oil company called Tagruato? We both know how much you hate oil (you always say “no oil” when you order a hoagie), so you better turn down the job and stay here and live with me forever and ever.

LenaDia - Gay.

Lil - Rob that’s crazy! How soon would you have to leave?

Rob - A few weeks, around the middle of the month they said.

Beth - Japan!? Oh my god, Rob! Come over this weekend so we can talk about it?
One word of advice Rob - you should try to leave on the 17th ;)

* Thanks to Harish for emailing me first!

UPDATE: Sorry everyone! I had to delete all the comments because some 12 year old ass-hat was spamming the post. Grow up, little dude.


  1. Seems like all of this is coming together nicely as the date for the movie nears!

    Great job, Dennis, you've been on top of everything. (Sorry that happened to you the first time you posted this.)

  2. Thanks for deleting the posts!

    did I see a new commercial tonight on comedy central==had the line "Get Ready"

    if it's old, please excuse.

  3. I really thought that Rob was going to work for Tagruato not Slusho! The drink may play a bigger part in the film than I expected. I figured the drink was just something to keeps us busy guessing about the movie.

  4. Things are heating up now. It's going to be an interesting two weeks. Stay tuned..

  5. We'll miss you Rob! Have fun in Japan!

  6. Dennis you are doing a great job!!! Sorry to see it has to come down to you approving every post.

    Please keep up the great work.

  7. Welcome to the World Wide Web (ass-hats as far as the eye can see . . . and then some). Thanks for all the updates, I check out the site daily. The closer it gets, the more I'm looking forward to it. I might be wrong, but I really think JJ's going to nail this. The big question will be, will any of this make the movie, or will it be our little inside joke?

  8. Thanks, Dennis...that was becoming annoying and really rude :( . I'm kinda glad they are finally putting a good connection to Slusho! and to the movie...even though a good number of us already had a good idea it was going to be the place Rob would probably be working at. :P

  9. thank u so much dennis. anyway to block him if u already havent?

  10. thanx dennis anyway to block him if u havent?

  11. oooohhhhhhh snap rob you silly noob
    i am amazed at the extent to which the crew went to develop this entire backstory to the movie, i mean a massive fake corporation, an antagonizing eco-terrorist group, MYSPACE PAGES for all the characters for gods sake!!
    this is gonna make the movie so much cooler than it obviously already was going to be.
    it's cool seeing all the pieces of the past 6 months come together!!
    thanks dennis!

  12. Hell yeah... newbie first! so I mentioned something about this yesterday... Rob was on myspace last night but everyone else didn't comment him til today... but the blog didn't post until today... weird...

  13. Lol, this is great. Plus it ties up (most of) the loose ends.

  14. Not like it was a surprise. Well Rob, you'd better leave to Japan on the 17th.

  15. I wonder what Jamie will think once she sees he's getting hired by the company that Teddy works for???

  16. Qué onda!!!
    This is Jose, from Mexico. I really like your blog. Here, the movie´s gonna premiere January 25th,and it´s called 'Cloverfield Monstruo', that's 'Cloverfield Monster', in case you were wondering ;)
    Here´s the link from a little synopsis.
    Greetings and keep up the good work, only 13 days left!!!

  17. thank you so much dennis. this is better for everyone and i am sorry that guy had to put such a stain on this wonderful site. I'm so upset about i don't even wanna mention i am the first post cuz i'm not.

    eh, what the hell, new beginning right. FIRST POST! YAY! lol

  18. Piece Of History?

  19. I know this is a movie and everything, but... if he were applying for a marketing job, he'd KNOW the product already. He'd done his research... he'd already know it's the rage in Asia, he'd know who owns Slusho, he'd know their history, he'd know where they're based, and their previous marketing strategies.

    Sorry, that's how I was trained to find a marking/creative job anyway.

    Anyway, other than that, great tie in... Can't wait till the 18th!

  20. No comment from Jamie??? Even after Tagruato mention...?

  21. First! Now we have concrete proof of what Rob is doing, no more speculation!

  22. well now thats been sorted, this slusho news is a big confirmation. No doubts now that slusho has nothing to do with the story now (even if it doesnt get mentioned mcuh in the film) it's still good to know it ties in for certain

  23. Wow. Rob's post was so Felicity. XD; I'm sorry, it just was.

    Anyway, pretty good confirmation we have there. Thanks Dennis.

  24. YAY
    then that means I'm First!!!
    ... right?... :(

    Well, im glad that this is all coming together now... Its worse than simple forshadowing...
    its killing me!

  25. Very very smart Dennis insulting now im going to flag your blog, you have also blocked your nerd cronnies from posting important stuff...

  26. C LOVER F IELD (a new age) said... Very very smart Dennis insulting now im going to flag your blog, you have also blocked your nerd cronnies from posting important stuff...

    Dude, what is your problem?

  27. why cause trouble?
    if you were insulted, i think you could understand why after what was posted last night and why some people have been a bit harsh (if it was indeed you posting those obscene spam messages)

  28. C LOVER F IELD (a new age)...

    Seriously dude, you've been causing problems for a LONG time and you're ruining the website for everyone else. Can you please grow up and let Dennis run his site without all the rude comments and flaming?

    Back to the topic at hand...

    I wonder if Jamie might here about this and say something about what happened to Teddy.

  29. anyone else find it interesting that jamie's myspace hasn't been logged into since December 29th, yet everyone else's most recent log in date was January 5th?

  30. C LOVER F IELD (a new age)... You are no longer welcome here.

    Please stop wasting my time and GO AWAY!!

  31. I wonder if Rob's departure is going to spurn an advance from Beth? If he gets a piece from her then I could see his reason to save her. Even though she consistently dogged him previously and a vicious rampaging monster is rocking NY, .. it would be socially acceptable to put your brother, your closest friends and yourself on a suicidal mission to save your chick, if she professed her love repeatedly to you in the 48 hour period that was this weekend. If Beth just pats Rob's ass on the way out the door to Japan, I really can't see justifying the lives of three of your best friends and your brother to save her. I know my argument is Utilitarian, and the movie would be somewhat void without a hero to rally around, and the complexities of love and what it inspires us to do ... but, I'm just saying, I hope he got down with her.

  32. Lol, my above comment certainly wasn't the first... I bet this is when Beth realizes she doesn't want Rob to go.

  33. In his blog comments, someone mentions Hello Kitty... Which is directly related to Cthulu... in


  34. how did my comment get on his myspace blog?!
    "HARISH-go man! its the perfect opportunity!"

  35. Yeah, new age dude, you're like the Cloverfield monster destroying the harmonious NYC here. Not really that bad, to me, anyway, but insults and flaming brought every other blog down except this one, which is partly why I'm here. Let's not bring this one down too.

    I never expected the viral marketing to go light-speed all of a sudden, but I guess it's logical, to hook more people and keep their increasing appetites sated until the 18th.

  36. I'm not sure if this has been suggested before, but it seems to me from watching the various trailers and reading the Slusho website, that Slusho is in fact central to the film's plot, as it contains the ingredient that creates the monster(s).

    The way I see it, Tagruato is drilling for billions of gallons of something (not oil) which is the addictive ingredient of Slusho.

    Unfortunately it has other side effects - as seen by the poor woman's expanding profile, seen in silhouette in the trailer.

    Anybody else think the same? Has all this been suggested before?

  37. Odd, I never expected Rob to work for Slusho.

  38. dudes I just left the theater and I would say it is a must see, they over used the s word and the shooting style was questinal but other than that it is a must see movie